Seasonal Journal — Autumn"Busted ute, baby goat in coat, an angry emu" How could the day get any worse?
Alex was standing in the middle of the kitchen with tomato sauce on his socks, an overturned plate of leftover sausages on the floor, and three goat kids bleating wildly as they skittered around him like chaos incarnate. Emma was half-crouched, half-leaping in pursuit, trying to corral them back into the playpen they'd somehow busted out of.
"Alex!" she whined. "Stop standing there and help me!"
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, snapping out of his daze just in time to see one particularly agile kid clamber onto the fireplace mantle and shove off Jewel's three pride-and-joy potted plants. All three crashed to the floor in a flurry of ceramic shards and soil.
They both stared at the mess.
"Now Jewel's really going to murder us," Emma said, just managing to snatch one goat mid-leap as the others rushed over to nibble at the leaves.
"This is your fault," Alex grunted, stepping over a slippery sausage. "You brought the goats into the house."
"They were supposed to stay in the mudroom! With the fence you were meant to pick up yesterday!"
"I would've—if the bloody ute didn't die halfway to town!" Alex threw his hands up. "I walked two hours back in the rain, thank you very much."
"Oh, the rain, of course," Emma shot back, wrangling another goat and dragging it toward the overturned pen. "That explains why one of them's wearing a raincoat!"
Alex glanced toward the hallway, where the smallest goat—wrapped in an old oilskin jacket and duct tape—bleated proudly and pranced in place like a show pony.
"It was shivering," Alex said defensively. "I improvised."
"You duct-taped sleeves to it."
"It was my best work!"
Before Emma could respond, another bleat sounded—this one from deeper in the house.
Alex's face paled. "Wait. How many goats were there?"
"There were four," Emma said slowly.
A moment of silence.
A crash from the living room.
They both bolted through the hallway to find the last kid standing triumphantly on the coffee table, headbutting a throw pillow into submission. Dirt trailed across the rug from the potted plants, and the tomato sauce was now smeared in mysterious arcs along the hallway wall.
"I need to sit down," Alex muttered.
But then came the thump. Heavy, deliberate. Outside.
Emma's head snapped toward the kitchen window. "What was that?"
Another thump. Then a low, guttural hiss.
A single, unblinking eye appeared at the glass.
"Oh no," Emma breathed.
"Oh yes," Alex said grimly. "The emu's back."
"You left the gate open?" she hissed.
"I was distracted! The ute broke down! And then you left me with the goats while you went to check fences!"
"You said you could handle them!"
"I thought I could!"
The eye vanished. The verandah boards creaked under something large and aggressive.
And then—BANG. The screen door slammed open.
Emma backed toward the hallway. "We are not equipped for this."
Alex grabbed the nearest weapon he could find—a broom with half its bristles missing.
"We're never equipped for this."
From outside, there came the unmistakable sound of goat hooves, followed by a warbled screech and the unmistakable slap-slap-slap of emu feet on timber.
The goat in the raincoat bolted into the room like a furry missile, skidding under the table.
Alex didn't hesitate. "Retreat!"
He and Emma scrambled after it, ducking just as the emu's neck stretched through the open doorway like some prehistoric snake, beak snapping.
Somewhere behind them, a pot plant exploded.
From her office across the paddock, Jewel looked up at the ruckus echoing out of the homestead and muttered under her breath, "I don't even want to know."
Southern Lights Station · Autumn · Homestead