Story #5: Feelings Found

[Jewel]

   

Alex Quinn — Journal Entry (Midway Through Emma's Stay in England).

   

 

I don't even know why I'm writing this. Maybe it's just easier to talk to paper. No chance of being interrupted. No risk of sounding like an idiot.

Emma's been gone for what, two and a half months now? Somewhere between the dust storms and long days, I lost count. Not like I'm keeping track or anything. Except I am. Sort of.

Southern Lights feels... quieter. Like someone turned the volume down on everything except the wind. I keep expecting to hear her boots on the porch or that awful hum she does when she's cleaning tack. Even the dogs seem a bit more sour than usual — or maybe it's just me.

I got a letter from her last week. Said she'd had a good schooling session and managed not to fall off a sassy Irish mare. Typical Emma. Always chasing a challenge with that fire in her eyes. I read the letter twice. Okay, five times. That's not weird, right?

I wish I knew how to say this stuff to her. That I'm proud. That I miss her. That I'm counting down the days like some lovesick teenager.

Except I'm not in love with her.

Am I?

Hell.

Jewel says I'm walking around like a kicked dog. I told her to mind her own business. She just smirked in that way that says she already knows the truth I'm too stubborn to admit.

I don't know what'll happen when Emma comes back. Maybe everything'll go back to normal. Maybe it won't.

I just hope—
...nah.

Forget it.

— Alex

[Jewel]

   

Emma Cavanagh — Unsaved Draft (Never Sent).

   

 

Dear Alex,
(Scratch that.)
Hey, loser.
(No. Too rude.)
Hi.

Okay, look. I'm not great at this. Writing letters. Talking about feelings. You know that.

Wyndmere's beautiful. Wet, green, proper-English countryside beautiful. The kind of place that smells like mud and moss and old money. The horses are incredible. Celtic Ember is starting to trust me — she even nickered when I brought her breakfast this morning. I think I smiled for an hour after that.

We had a group lesson today. I didn't fall off, but I definitely made a fool of myself trying to mount from the wrong side. Eleanor said nothing but gave me That Look. You'd like her, I think. She's a bit like Jewel if Jewel drank earl grey and wore tall boots.

I'm learning a lot. But sometimes, I wish you were here.
I miss the red dirt. I miss Jewel's lectures. I miss being teased over burnt toast and bad coffee.
I miss you.
(There. I said it. Not out loud, but it's something.)

I've been carrying around this stupid damper photo you snuck into my gear. Candle and all. You're a dork. But it makes me laugh when the homesickness hits too hard.

Don't let Chaos eat your hat again.
And tell Jewel I haven't gone soft. Just... temporarily soggy. Blame the rain.

I'll be back before you know it. Maybe things will be different. Maybe they won't.
But I hope...
(That's where the words run out.)

Take care of the station for me.

— E.

P.S. If you tell anyone I got sentimental, I'll deny it. Forever.